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I once new a cow quite a lot
Who served in a newspaper shop
The lower shelves teemed
With bovine magazines
While Udderbits was kept on the top.

Oh where is my own love this hot balmy night
In the arms of another? Iíll warrant that Iím right
For I know he is faithless, false and untrue
He lies with another, whatís a poor girl to do?
Oh what has become of the love that we shared
If itís broke at the join can it not be repaired
He says he still wants me and swears love anew
But he lies through his teeth. Whatís a poor girl to do?
Oh who is the whore whomsí passion is pleased
By he who should rightly attend to my needs
Oh I know the name and the place they dwell too
And he lies with a man. Whatís a poor girl to do?
Oh God damn all faggots and burn them in hell
May he take red hot pokers and sodomize them well
For heíll beg forgiveness and then still continue
To live out a lie. Whatís a poor girl to do?

All hell broke loose whan Mr Juice
removed his glazed glass eye
and for a joke he chose to poke it
where the sun don't shine.
Like Nelson at Trafalgar
"Kiss me Hardy " on his lips
he lifts his telescope up high
and cries, "I see no shits".